In the Kitchen on International Women's Day

A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey,

but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong.

Author Unknown

On International Women’s Day, a small group of brave and concerned women gathered at the kitchen table in my home to consider how to be true to our values, make our voices heard, and

support one another in this uncertain time.  The conversation began with an overview of the book How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith by Mariann Edgar Budde, the premise of which is that we have all been brave throughout our lives in ways we might never have considered.  And as such, we can call on those resources that fund our souls to be brave yet again.

Budde proposes that we are brave when:

• Deciding to go… leaving an abusive relationship, a job that is eating away at the soul, friendships that are no longer supportive, a religion that is no longer loving …

• Deciding to stay… committing to the work it will take to make a relationship, career, etc. grow and thrive.

• Deciding to start… a new life, new relationship, new business, new spiritual practice, new approach to living and loving…

• Accepting what you do not choose…the death of a loved one, illness, loss, the results of an election…

• Stepping up to the plate…being there for someone in need, forming a group, joining a group, voting, getting involved, resisting…

Budde also warns us there will be inevitable let downs following our braveness that will require perseverance and persistent love.

From there, the conversation turned to the information we might need to follow through with being brave. 

• Understand the history of how marginalized groups have lost, gained, lost, gained and continue to work together to regain their power and rightful place in the community of humans. 

• Work to change the inner dialogue of individuals and the unconscious collective through the power of our words by reaching enough people to tip the scales in favor of decency, tolerance, and respect—the “tipping point” being around 25%.

The question then becomes, how do we use our words to unite not divide; uplift; not put down; make our point; not poke the bear.  This collective of women came up with the following actions as ways to individually help move the collective to the tipping point:

• Post a short social justice prayer/meditation on social media every day that speaks of love and unity. (It can be the same one every day.)  The chances of it getting read will increase if it is short enough to appear in its entirety on the post without having to click and scroll down.  If you can post it inside a colored box, that will also draw attention to it.  There is no need to make your own comment first.  If you want to preserve your time and soul, also turn off comments by others.  (This is not a post that says, “Jesus was an immigrant.”  That’s poking the bear. Instead, “Love one another”.) We are not going for coercion but resonance. 

• Compile your own mission statement and know the values you stand for.   When a situation permits itself among friends, family, or at the store with strangers even and you feel like responding to a statement contradictory to your own mission, share your value(s) from a place of love.  Here’s an example:

A family member comments on how strong the president is to have put a foreign leader in his place. First, we have to skip a beat, take a breath, and come from a place of loving kindness.  Then the reply might be, “It hurt me to see a man who is fighting for the lives of his people to be treated with such scorn.”

It is not a personal attack on the person or the president.  It is a statement of personal values.

• Designate a small pin or piece of jewelry to wear every day that reminds you of your intention to live by your values and resist that which does not align with them.

• Do not bury your head in the sand nor lie on the sand so long your skin catches on fire! Choose one or two things you can comfortably commit to on a regular basis. 

  • Download the app Five Calls.  Read over the list of issues before congress.  Choose one that is most important to you.  Read the overview.  Click the script.  Call the number provided for your state congressmen and senators.  Read the script.  Leave your zip code.  Set a goal to do that every day. 

  • Get on the email list for Indivisible Colorado https://indivisiblecolorado.net/ to learn where and when town halls will be held, and protests will be happening.

  • Check out the website Mobilize Us/Colorado https://www.mobilize.us/events/colorado-volunteer-opportunities/ to find ways you can volunteer to help the resistance. 

  • Consider alternative media sources for your news

    • 1440 Daily Digest is just the facts with links for getting more information.  No hype, fear mongering, or lies. https://join1440.com/

    • Tangle a 360-degree view of the top news stories (It’s important to understand what the other side is thinking and maybe even find some common ground.) https://www.readtangle.com/

These thoughts and ideas are the product of only a three-hour meeting among only eight like-minded, regular women of various backgrounds and spiritual affiliations sharing a cup of coffee, some snacks, their fears, and their needs to do something.  It is the Jane Does of the world who will come together like this to save Democracy and the world’s soul.  What are you waiting for?  We can be, have been, and are brave.